David Honig of Palate Press and my fellow bloggers, I feel your pain. As authors of six blogs, some for the company, some for clients and some just for fun, we see our fair share of outrageous PR pitches.   So I thought I’d post a few excerpts of some of the more egregious examples and share some yuks.  I welcome my fellow bloggers to add their contributions to the PR Pitch Hall of Shame.

1. Sounds like a plot line for a porno film (but at least they said ”  Please”)
Subject: Please Cover:New Tech Product- Jumpstart Emergency Phone Charger Can Be Hung, Like a Charm, From Cell Phones

Hi Steven,

Please let me know if you are able to cover or feature the following. Digipower is officially announcing today two of their coolest products to hit the tech accessories market called the “Jumpstart” and the “Jumpstart Sport”.

2. We’ve already decided what you are, now we’re just quibbling over the price

Subject: Advertising and PR
Hi, I’m contacting you regarding your site at  http://thebrandactionteam.blogspot.com/
Datadial are a digital PR and marketing agency currently representing several clients that would be very interested in gaining some exposure on your site.

I’m writing to ask,

a)      If you accept press releases and what you policy is regarding these
b)      If you accept paid editorial and the costs and terms associated with this
c)      Your advertising rates

3. Anything Else I Can do For a Perfect Stranger?

Subject: Blog Question
Hi there, I am looking to get some information about your blog. I work for a PR agency in Chicago and am building a media list for one of our liquor clients. I am wondering if you might be able to tell me the number of hits your blog receives each month?
NB:  As many of you know, I’m sort of anal about analytics.  Some wag once told me “Hits” stands for How Idiots Track Success.
4. Should I be Flattered or Insulted, You Want Me to Re-publish Your Content!?

Subject: An article on Label Profile: Canadian Club by AskMen.com
Hi, My name is (name withheld to protect the clueless) from AskMen.com – a unit of FOX Interactive Media. As the world’s largest  men’s web portal, AskMen.com attracts more than 7 million readers each month.
I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know that AskMen.com recently published an article entitled “Label Profile: Canadian Club” that I think would be of particular interest to your readers.
The article takes a look at everyone’s favorite whiskey label; well at least it’s my favorite label. Canadian Club whiskey has been around since the 1800’s, believe it or not, and they are not showing any signs of slowing down. I’m sure you know everything there is to know about liquor, but check it out anyways.

5. Aren’t You Going to Buy Me Dinner First?

This one’s my favorite, again, hiding the name to protect the clueless, but what was particularly aggravating is this came from a competitive bev. alc. industry PR agency with which some of our clients currently work.  Makes me wonder who’s minding the store.
Hello.  Would you mind telling me how many unique pageviews you get per month.

Unique pageviews?! never heard of that metric. That’s sort of like a question I got some years about about this “Mapster” thing….they got the concept, but are a little sketchy on the specifics.

6.  From the “Totally Out of the Blue Department”
Hello.  I’m the webmaster of http://www.uti.biz.  I wanted to know if by any chance you would be interested in doing an unbiased review of our site http://www.uti.biz on your blog?
Turns out the site sells a cure for urinary incontinence.

Now that’s relevant content!